Pre-Intros

[sangraal]

[whoever you are, however you died, you have found yourself walking through a desert]

[you have been walking for a long time]

[you have been walking since time began]

[you are dry as a bone and withered in the wind]

[and in the far distance, you have glimpsed a golden city. you have come to the golden city. you have stumbled through wide-open doors, and there has been no sound, no movement, only emptiness]

[until finally you see, on a golden throne, a woman in a red dress, the most beautiful woman you have ever seen, and she has a sword at her side and a golden grail between her legs, filled with blood-red wine]

Comments

[sangraal]

[warm smile] I am Babalon. Welcome to the city at the end of Death.

[outtodry]

I didn't think Death had an end.

[sangraal]

Perhaps it doesn't for everyone. But if you have come here, if you have crossed the desert, then it does for you. You must yet have some will to live, even if you stepped into death of your own accord to begin with.

[outtodry]

It was the only way to stop my bro-

Is my brother here?

[sangraal]

You were the only soul from your world that followed my call. He remains dead.

[outtodry]

I understand.

[oh, that's complicated feelings, that is]

[sangraal]

[I CAN IMAGINE. also a chair appears for him with a little wave of her hand, facing her throne at the same level and a pleasantly conversational distance]

You have a choice before you, Tarrlok. Perhaps several choices. Your will bloomed before your death. I do not know the details, but I can sense the shape of it, the flare of realization and determination. It led you to your death, but it does not need to end there.

I can offer you an opportunity to return to life. It will not be brief or entirely easy, but at the end of it, you will be able to return to the time and place you left--or somewhere else if you wish.

[outtodry]

If it were easy, none of us would be dead, now, would we?

But... why me? Was it really just that I hit some kind of enlightenment before I died?

[sangraal]

[laughs softly] Quite so.

Your will...answered my call. It is difficult to put into words, exactly. As if I was facing a blurring multitude of the dead, reaching out my hand for one who would suit what I can offer. The way your will bloomed appeals to me greatly, it's true. But it was...the vagaries of fate, I suppose you could say, if you wanted to be pretentious about it. And perhaps something about you appealed to Kohos as well.

It was you because you are here.

[outtodry]

Sounds like some kind of koan.

Do I have to take the chance?

[sangraal]

[she smiles at that, and in the matter of one quoting (it is from the Book of Serenity)] "If you say 'yes' to this, you are putting another head on your own. If you say 'no,' you are looking for life by cutting off your head."

But no. You may choose to simply remain dead, if that is truly your will. if you wish for your story to remain unfinished, your change to remain incomplete.

[outtodry]

Well, I'd hate to disappoint a lady.

I don't know what I could accomplish with a new lease on life, besides facing a long time in prison. But... I suppose that's preferable to death.

[sangraal]

[aww she is tickled]

You need not return to your own world...you may forge any path you wish from here. But that is not a choice you have to make right away. Returning to life will take some time, and during that time, your will may develop further.

[outtodry]

I suppose it's not a simple process.

[sangraal]

No...there are complications. You might ask me of the price, and I would say there is none, for there is no lasting debt--but for a mortal to return to life through the paths of Kohos, they must dissolve and then reform themselves. You will lose your memories, and then regain them. Part of my role is to speed that process, and perhaps to give you back what is important to you as soon as possible.

[outtodry]

My memories...?

[more complicated feelings]

[sangraal]

[taking a sip of her wine and giving him a moment to have feelings]

Do some of them burden you?

[outtodry]

I didn't exactly have a peaceful and happy childhood.

[sangraal]

Would you...wish to be without it, for a time?

[outtodry]

It sounds like if I accept your offer, I'll be without it regardless.

[sangraal]

I meant...I could keep it from you even if I found it, for a time. Not indefinitely...nobody can leave Kohos until they are complete. But until you feel prepared to carry it again. It is by no means necessary, but I wished to make clear the possibility.

[outtodry]

It's tempting to see what I'd become without those memories...

[sangraal]

[gently]

Was what you became with them...what you cast off when you found your will?

[outtodry]

Yes.

[sangraal]

Then...shall I withhold them until you have found your will again?